A Fear, Conquered. Sort of...

I am currently reading a really good book called "The Survivors Club" by Ben Sherwood. It is a New York Times Best Seller. I tend to trust the NYT so I figured it would be a good read. I also really liked "Deep Survival" by Laurence Gonzales which is a similar type of book. I am a geek for nonfiction, especially if it has some sort of relevancy to my life.

Basically "The Survival Club" is about survival (duh) - why do some people survive extraordinary things while others don't. It may seem morbid but it is actually an incredibly interesting and USEFUL book. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a nice piece of nonfiction.

Anyways, Sherwood has a whole chapter on airplanes. But before I get into details let me tell you that I am incredibly afraid of flying. I've flown dozens and dozens and dozens of times...maybe even hundreds and hundreds and I hated every single flight. I hate the fact that I have NO CLUE how an airplane works (a giant piece of metal flying thousands of feet in the sky whilst going ridiculously fast??? No thank you). I hate turbulence. And most importantly, I hate the fact that if my plane were to crash, I would have TIME to think about death. In almost every other type of accident you would really have no idea what was about to hit you. It all just happens so fast. But in a plane, you KNOW what is going to happen. I can just imagine that would be the most horrible and hopeless feeling in the world. So yeah, hence my utter paranoia. I spend the entire week before a flight suffering from horrible anxiety and whilst I am on said flight, I am basically having an internal freak out.

But now, thanks to the Survivor's Club, I think I have a much HEALTHIER outlook on flying. Here are some interesting and wonderful things I learned.
- The risk of death per randomly chosen flight is 1 in 60 MILLION. I like those odds.
- On average that means you could fly every day for the next 164,000 years before you would perish in a crash. I need this type of perspective...it really helps with the anxiety.
- The survival rate in plane crashes is 95.7%. THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I HAVE EVER EVER EVER READ. SERIOUSLY, WHO KNEW?!
- How do they know this? The National Transportation Safety Board analyzed all the airplane accidents between 1983 and 2000. 53,487 people were involved in those accidents and 51,207 SURVIVED.
- Of those accidents, 26 were the worst. Excluding those accidents that were the worst (i.e. no one had a chance) the survival rate in the most "serious" accidents is 76.6%.
- Basically, many plane crashes are survivable.

I could really go on and on about this, but in the end Sherwood concludes that people survive plane crashes because they pay attention to what is going on, they do not panic, and they ACT. Knowing this, I feel a lot better about future flights that will come my way. And I will try REALLY REALLY hard not to sit there in a panic-stricken coma. If you have any sort of anxiety about flying (or survival in general) you need to buy this book immediately.

Fly on people, fly on!!!

DIY C-Section

Many thanks to Shannon for opening my eyes to this amazing piece of literary genius. And I apologize for the somewhat disgusting nature of this post's title. Please read on...

Save yourself the torture and skip reading the Twilight books. I got through about half of the first one and then realized that drinking a handle of cheap vodka would probably be better for my brain. I know the basic gist of the stories (since it is REALLY hard to avoid Twilight these days), and I think this cartoon pretty much sums up the entire melodramatic teenage c section-your-own-demon baby saga. 

Need a bigger version? Click here.

Of course I had to send this to Brian as soon as I saw it, since he is completely appalled by the idea of a vampire giving his "wife" a c-section with his vampire teeth. I just threw up a little actually. Brian is an avid cracked.com reader and came across this Twilight gem. Between the cartoon above and the cracked.com article, you should be able to find out anything you ever needed to know about Twilight. Any other fantastic Twilight commentary out there?!

Yikes! I'm going random again...

- I kid you not, I slept two FULL nights worth of sleep last night (yes about 13 hours). How on earth was my body physically able to do that?! I was up at 5:00am on Sunday morning for a work event, but I didn't think I would be THAT tired. Hopefully I am able to sleep tonight...

- The rest of my November is looking pretty full. I am leaving for CT on Wednesday for a conference (hosted @ the MGM Grand, whooo hoooo!) and won't be back until Sunday. Then Bri and I are off to Staunton the next weekend and then it is time to stuff my face with turkey and cranberry sauce (the kind in a can - I HATE chunks in my cranberry sauce). Where did this month go?

- It really bothers me when I change the radio station and I hear the last 5 seconds of a song I really like. It makes me feel like I have really bad luck :(

- It took me a really long time (I'm talkin years...) to realize that the little arrow on the gas indicator points in the direction that your gas cap is on. Who knew?!?!

- Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, the Geico Cavemen, and bad drivers: please stop going out in public. I am sick of all of you. 

- Modern Family is the best show on TV these days. Go watch it on Hulu NOW!!!!

In other news, I had full intentions of updating the blog this weekend while I was away in VA Beach for work. However, my hotel did not have wireless internet regardless of the fact that it is 2009. Thankfully I was able to draft a few posts and hope to have them ready for your curious little eyes later this week. 

And now I leave you with this picture from Halloween; please note the super cool t-shirt:

(I was hoping to spare you the picture of his bottom half but it is just too funny not to share...)

Hipster-rific.

Murphy's Law

My day hasn't been horrible by any means, but some atypical things have been happening. Let's call this a minor-Murphy's Law day. Allow me to explain:

• I woke up WAY LATER than I wanted to. Apparently the snooze function on my cell phone gives up on me after 30 minutes of pressing it in 5 minute increments. I SWEAR I would have gotten up after 35 minutes...
• I got into the BACKSEAT of my car this morning. I was practically sitting all the way down when I realized where I was. I think one of the neighbors saw me so I tried to play it off like I was simply reaching for "the pen I dropped."
• After ordering my grande, nonfat, 2 Equal, decaf latte this morning I proceeded to dump my ENTIRE change purse all over the counter and the floor. It was very embarrassing and the guy behind me in line said "Oops" when I dropped it and did not even budge to help me pick up the huge piles of coins. What has happened to chivalry, people?! Note to self - do not keep $20 worth of change in wallet at all times. The likelihood of needing to feed a meter at any given moment is VERY slim. What can I say? I'm paranoid about parking meters and I rarely use them. Again, I digress.
• Upon entering my office this morning I managed to spill yesterday's "Candy Corn" neon pee-soda all over my desk. My computer was not even ON before I knocked the little thing over. However, I must admit that it was sort of fun to clean up the BRIGHT neon liquid from my desk since it looked like nuclear waste on the paper towel. And thankfully I didn't get any of it on the computer. However, I bet my keyboard would have come to life after a dose of the stuff so I may do some experimenting later.
• Again, I am dressed for FALL and it is 80 outside. I really can't handle this. My closet is confused!!!
• For now, I leave you with a happy photo of the clumsiest cat I know, Deuce.

Random Ramblings and Halloween Costume-ing

Some things to think about and some things I'm thinking about...

• Why is it that all of our Halloween candy is almost gone? Oh wait, it's because I've been eating all of it. Also, why does Deuce insist on grabbing Blowpop sticks with his little grubby claws and then chew the living daylight out of them???
• Looks like we are getting up at 4am on Sunday (the day after Halloween) to jump on a train to Philly. No, we don't have Eagles OR Phillies tickets, but we are trekking up "just to be there." Have I mentioned that the bf is a DIEHARD fan of all things Philly? Should be an interesting adventure...
• I am sipping on "Candy Corn Soda" courtesy of Jones Sodas. I give this one 2 stars out of 10. Not only does it taste like rotting cream soda, it is also BRIGHT yellow (like nuclear pee).
• Thursday marks my "unofficially official 2 year anniversary" with Brian. I won't get into the juicy details here, but this was the date that we decided to make "ours". We "had a thing" for several months before October 29th, 2007 but thanks to my European backpackadventuramarathon in September 2007, we didn't make things unofficially official until 10/29. Three cheers to us and I can't wait to celebrate!!!!
• Our 1920s boiler is going to cost us $400 to fix. Apparently it is so full of soot and ash that the little motor is firing blanks. Not so excited about another week of COLD 60 degree weather and that dent in the bank account...I really wonder if we could survive the winter with just the heated kitchen floor, the fireplace stove, and a mini space heater. And we could use that $400 to buy quite a large shipment of hand warmers.
• I really hope we actually get some Trick or Treaters this year. Now that we are in a "grown up" neighborhood and there are toddlers and tweens galore, we better see some action.
• In other Halloween news I am dressing up as Strawberry Icecream this year. Two of my friends are Chocolate and Vanilla and we might be adding on a 4th friend as Sprinkles. Be prepared for some delicious pictures.
• I am a total DIY-er when it comes to Halloween costumes. I REFUSE to ever buy any of that cheap crap from Halloween Express. Seriously that store makes me sick. All you need for pretty much any costume is a plain ole pillow case. It is the perfect canvas for most ideas and has just enough "sexy." For now I leave you with costumes of Halloweens past...

2007: The 4 Suites of Playing Cards

A little better detail here. And that is Shamus, our butternut squash that survived through April of the next year. He was our baby.

2006: The Seven Continents (I was Antarctica)

Probably the BEST costume idea to ever exist. We all got to be creative and we looked darn good together.

p.s. all the hot ladies in these photos are my main bee-otches from college.

You're hot then you're cold..

More like you're cold then you're hot...but thanks Katy Perry.

Today is October 21st. According to my seasonal calendar this means that it is FALL. So, being the logical person that I am, this morning I dressed for FALL. Here is what I whipped up (sorry for the poor quality. I am not a photo genius unfortunately):

I'm all cozy and cuddly in my sweater tights, boots, and pashmina and I'm feeling pretty darn chic. I usually opt for jeans and a "blouse" when I don't have meetings, so this is dressy for a sit-behind-my-desk type of day (yay for a super casual dress code..that's what you get when your job involves randomly loading and unloading trucks). So anyways, I was sitting here thinking how smart and cuddly I am when I decide to make a quick trip to Starbucks to grab a nice warm FALL beverage. I walk out the front door of our office and am immediately hit by a FREAKING HEAT WAVE. Yuck wtf?! It's 80 here with a chance of boiling. I am sweating in 2.5 seconds. I ended up going to Starbucks anyway and order a cup of apple cider, just to spite the evil weather gods. I did feel like a freak though, considering the other people in line were ordering iced beverages and sporting flipflops & tanks.

Come on REAL FALL...where are you?!

Come on 25..

Kick in already!!! I wish birthdays meant feeling a whole lot older and finally getting a grasp on things. Looks like I've got work to do.

- I'm feeling disorganized and flustered.

- I think I may be getting latte-ed out.

- The "actors" on Melrose Place are HORRIBLE. Maybe I should take up acting since I'm sure I could do a better job. I've made this assessment after watching the show for about 30 seconds. Ewww. Oh and Ashley "Wentz" looks like a different person with that new-ish nose.

- It is officially fall and that is nuts. Although I am excited to wear my Uggs.

- Deuce is DRIVING ME CRAZY. He has ridiculous mental problems and I keep having to lock him in the basement.

- I wish my thumb was greener. Although our four little peppers are getting HUGE and one of the tomatoes is finally turning red. I'm going to attempt to plant some mums.

- September has been a bad blogging month for me. I've got ideas and some posts started but for some reason I just can't get them finished. Shame on me :(

- I've got my tea-swap stuff READY to go...just need to get it in the mail. I hope I haven't missed the deadline?!

- Goin campin this weekend. VA weather is perfect for it.

Thirsty Thursday

I am currently consuming a pumpkin spice latte (grande, skim, half the syrup, no whip). I am VERY CONFUSED as to why there have been so many blog entries about this "special latte" in the past few days. I think it tastes kind of funny, like flowers? Maybe it's because I skimped on the flavor/whipped cream but this drink is definitely not worth the $4.41 I paid for it. Yes $4.41. WHAT?!?!? So basically for 2 little pumps of "pumpkin flavor" I paid almost a whole DOLLAR more than I pay for my plain latte. What an outrage. And I love my Starbucks.

In other thoughts...

- Bri is off to Philly and "kindly" made me a To-Do list to tackle during his absence.

- If I manage to do 2 out of the 6 things on the list I will be super proud of myself.

- No volleyball tonight because of the long weekend :(

- Why are Top Chef episodes sometimes an hour and 15 MINUTES long?? That really throws me off.

- I need to find a fabulous light light light gray color to paint our bathroom. Any suggestions?

- I am freezing in this 70 degree weather, although I kind of like it.

Shmorgesbourg

I'm pretty sure that is not how you spell that word, but I hope you see what I am getting at. 

- Is ASHLEY SIMPSON (Wentz?) acting in the new Melrose Place? Or am I just seeing things? She named her kid Bronx Mogli...

- Today is Sept 1. I reach a quarter century in exactly 2 weeks. 

- I usually dread cold weather but for some reason I am looking forward to it. Did someone say shopping spree?

- Did I really work until the cleaning guy came in tonight? The next month or so is really looking scary...

- I have been making my coffee with espresso beans and I think it is giving me a twitch. What is that like 6 shots of espresso in one cup??

- Since it is Tuesday I need to say a few words about TV:

- I LOVE that commercial where the "dad" is Tweeting, "I am sitting on the patio." So great.

- America's Next Top Model starts up next week. Season 1872384 or something like that.

- I wish I could chop veggies and other foods really fast like they do on the cooking shows.

- Anyone else watch Flipping Out on Bravo? (I love that channel in case you couldn't notice). I happen to find Jeff Lewis hilarious even though he is a total d-bag. 

- What happened to Trash TV Tuesdays?! All my shows ended :(

In other news, I think I would like to paint either the bathroom or the guestroom this weekend. Brian is going to be out of town so the house is my little oyster. I really need to make some fun plans for myself. 

Please excuse the randomness of this post. More exciting, legitimate blog posts to come, I promise.

Trash TV Tuesday?!

Since several of my "trash tv Tuesday" shows have ended I decided to check the Yahoo listings to see what else might tickle my fancy (remind me to NEVER use that phrase again. It is kind of gross). Take a look at these "winners"...

"Child Frozen in Time" on TLC @ 7pm. Here is the little blurb: "The story of Brooke Greenberg, the 16 year old who hasn't aged since she was 11 months old, baffling medical experts." Ok what?!?!?! So there is a 16 year old out there who still rides around in a stroller and eats in a highchair?!?!?!? I will most definitely be tuning in to see what this is all about. I am also currently resisting the urge to Google her and kill the suspense. Most likely, as is typical of many "trashy" shows, I will end up turning this off or watching something else. The TLC commentary can get a little old and I HATE it when they do dramatic reenactions...

"Tomb of 1,000 Roman Skeletons" on NatGeo @ 8pm. Apparently a tomb was discovered in 2006 that held 1,000 skeletons. Normally I wouldn't watch something like this, but I may tune into the end to hear the shocking conclusion (should there be one). My guess is that this show will be ALL about speculation - some "experts" will be interviewed and express their opinions on the matter, but in the end no one will ACTUALLY know why the skeletons are there.

"Top Chef Vegas" on Bravo @ 8pm. Missed this last week so I must definitely tune in. Like Project Runway, I find Top Chef to be vastly entertaining simply because the "characters" on the show are truly talented. I wish I could cook something more than pasta, curry, and chili. 

"The Universe" on History @ 9pm. This week they are highlighting what the Earth would be like should the Moon not exist. My gut is that we would be dead if the moon didn't exist, but I may need to find out for sure by tuning in during the commercials of another show. 

And now, just for kicks, a couple of shows I CANNOT stand:

"I Didn't Know I was Pregnant". Worst. Thing. Imaginable.  Not only would this mean you are completely incapable of assessing your own weight, one day you would just randomly feel the most extreme pain EVER and have no preparation. Not to mention you could be anywhere. Typically the people on this show end up in gas station bathrooms or on the floor of McDonalds. I hate this show. It is so melodramatic - complete with D-list reenactors, in your face interviews, and medical gore.

"The Secret Life of the American Teenager." Probably the worst show on TV. I haven't actually seen a whole episode but DAMN does Molly Ringwald look bad/weird. I have no idea what the story line of this show is actually about but I think one of the kids had a baby. Who knows? It is like an overly dramatic, poorly acted, cheap version of 7th Heaven (and that was bad). 

Anything with Paris Hilton, "New York", mud/jello, people eating gross things, or those "talent" shows where they only show 15 minutes of "talent," 30 minutes of commercials, 14 minutes of "suspenseful moments," and one minute to announce the winner/loser for the week (Top Chef and Project Runway are exempt from this category for obvious reasons). 

And with that I am off to do some cleaning and settle in for the night. Viva la Tuesday!

Lifetime...

As I am sure many of you know, Project Runway is premiering tonight on LIFETIME. I loved the Bravo seasons and I hope it is basically still the same show. I consider the show "real" reality TV since the designers are CLEARLY talented. No joe-shmoe off the street could just walk on and sew a dress out of items found in a grocery store. Oh and I LOVE Tim Gunn. He is probably one of my favorite "celebrities" of all time. I wish he was my neighbor. He would be like my sweet gay well-dressed uncle. Anyways, I hope you all are tuning in tonight! 

Trash TV Tuesday...A recap

I don't know about all of you, but I love the trash TV that comes on on Tuesdays. Another good thing about Tuesdays is that Brian plays poker on these nights ("safe" poker - not the kind where he actually has to bet his own money. This is at a restaurant/bar, not a casino), so he is usually gone from about 7pm - 11pm (sometimes later when he wins, and he often does). So on a typical Tuesday I'll come home from work, grab a quick dinner, and Brian will be off. Then I can settle in on the couch and tune into the trash. I find this a completely acceptable thing to do, especially considering I only do it once a week. The trash is just SO TRASHY on Tuesdays that it is hard to resist. Let's take a look at my hourly play-by-play...

8:00pm
I'm usually done eating/blogging/surfing the internet/cleaning/whatever at this point. Just in time for Jon & Kate Plus 8 ridiculousness along with some America's Got Talent, 90210, and Real Housewives of Atlanta mixed in there too. I don't usually watch any of these shows all the way through...I prefer to mix and match my trash, at least for the first hour. I used to think J&KP8 was cute and interesting, but now I, along with most people, find it pretty disturbing. I always thought Kate was a controlling b*tch and Jon was a weird balding whipped jerk. Now these sentiments have been confirmed. The kids are still cute, so at least they have that going for them. AGT usually keeps me entertained during the commericals of the other shows. But I HATE how awkward it is when someone really sucks but they think they are really awesome. So sad. 90210 intruiges me because the characters look SO OLD even though they are supposed to be 15 or whatever. Talk about melodrama! The plots are so nuts and confusing that I have no idea what is going on in this show. I continue to watch anyways, just in case I start to "get it". And finally RHofA. There are really no words to describe these whack-o women. I enjoy RHofNY or OC, but Atlanta?!?! Another "there-are-commercials-on-every-other-channel" type of show for me.

9:oopm
Now the real fun begins. NYC Prep. If you watch this show then you know how utterly ridiculous it is. The kids on this show make me look back on my high school years and wonder why I wasn't beat up or attacked by the "cool" kids on a regular basis. I mean, HOLY CRAP! These kids party, "hook-up" (whatever that means), galavant around Manhattan, live WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS in the city, go to fashion shows, and spend entirely too much time getting ready in the morning. Half of that stuff I didn't do until I GRADUATED COLLEGE at the age of 24. And these kids are 15 and 16. I was a total nerd at that age. I didn't even THINK about galavanting around, let alone living without my parents!! Honestly, it makes me fear for my future children. But at the same time, my future kids won't be growing up in that kind of environment. I am totally and completely intruiged by this show. It blows my mind to think that people live like that (not in a bad way, it is just SO DIFFERENT than how I grew up in NC). I hope they have a 10 year reunion with these kids because I am so curious to see how they turn out. Bravo does it again!

10:00pm
Tori and Dean with a dose of Miami Social. I must say that I enjoy watching Tori and Dean. Their old show sucked so I am surprised that I feel this way. I think Tori Spelling is a little crazy, but I enjoy her antics and always-perfectly-done-up look. I do think she is way too thin though. Especially after popping babies out of her oven. I hope they have more kids. As for MS, I usually flip over to Bravo during the commericials of T&D. Although I admit that I get sucked into MS and end up missing large chunks of T&D. Decisions, decisions. Anyways- so MS is basically about a bunch of rich, "successful", random 20-30 something socialites living the good life in Miami. Some of them are gay. Some of them are divorced. Some of them are workaholics. Some of them have children that they ship off to boarding school in Switzerland. All of them are crazy, overly concerned with their looks, and probably on drugs (prescription and otherwise). There is no real plot to the show other than the fact that this group of "cool kids" meets on the roof of some expensive hotel (?) once a week to gossip about how fabulous they are. The rest of the show is about their real estate ventures, plastic surgeries, and psycho foreign girlfriends. The nice mix of gay/straight/male/female/crazy/more crazy/hot/thinks they're hot/rich/daddy's money rich makes this show oobertrashtastic.

11:00pm
I have usually migrated up stairs by this point and often end up falling asleep around 10:50 (this makes the Bravo/Oxygen teasers for next week's 10spots even more fun to watch throughout the week). However, this week I managed to catch a few minutes of Addicted to Beauty on Oxygn. This show highlights a "Medical Spa" called Changes and the Botox-ridden staff working there. I could only bear to watch about 15 minutes of this trash. It was just that trashy. In a nutshell, the staff of this "spa" talk about themselves and how much plastic surgery they have received/want, all the while trying to service customers (other crazy people like themselves). Don't think I'll be hanging around to watch this one on a weekly basis. A girl's gotta sleep.

I know you all watch trash TV too...so spill it. Any favs?